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Good night, and good luck...

barb :)
18 May
I am the OmniPoint. All things point to me.

I was born and raised in Greenland. I can speak to aminals. I have a great love for life-size stuffed aminals. I despise Kobe Bryant. I am never on time. I like Gossamer (Looney Tunes Orange Monster... duh.)

Whatever it was, it wasn't my fault.

I was born on the day Mt. St. Helens erupted. I don't know what that means.

Those of you who know me, and if you do, I can't imagine why you're reading this... know that I was not born or raised in Greenland. I do love life-size stuffed aminals. I can speak to real ones, but I never said they understood me. I'm absolutely terrified of Xenomorphs. My socks haven't matched in years. I have a cat (my better half) named Bean. He bosses my parents around in Philadelphia. I have another cat named Bats. He's being bossed around by my third cat, Rugby. I think having three cats classifies me as witch.

I live in an apartment by myself just like a real grown-up. I spend my days learning about my addiction to chairs + sunglasses. I want to own a DEA jacket. I like thinking that carcharodon megalodon does still exist somewhere, usually where children are swimming. I suffer from coulrophobia. I saw Jurassic Park in theaters 18 times. When I was sixteen and completely sober I smacked myself in the forehead with a package of frozen chicken fillets and knocked myself out. My occupation is being the Lochness Monster. I would leave you for Richard Wolffe.

Sometimes, late at night, I like to pretend I'm a sweater and drape myself over furniture.

bagpipes, bats, bean and rugby, being scared, bill maher, black's law dictionary, blankets, blueberries, bob herbert, bubble water, bugles, carcharodon megalodon, chicken fingers, chocolate milk, coincidences, coloring books, copper, countdown with keith olbermann, crayons, crowns, december 23rd bala cynwyd, doink doink, dr. suess, dripping with sarcasm, dsm iv, elevenses, elladan, eminem, etch-a-sketch, fairies, figment, fleece, fluffy clouds, ghosts, giant squid, going to aquariums, gossamer the orange monster, greenland, grover, halloween, haunted places, hobbits, horton the elephant, ice cream, icicles, indiana jones, individual blades of grass, jackass, jason flemyng, jaws, jellyfish, jerry goldsmith, jokes, jon stewart, jurassic park, knowing world capitals, lake tahoe, laughing fits, learning the violin, lists, lochness monster, lord of the rings, macs, maneaters, manta rays, monsters, my bed, my chairs, my log cabin, my piano, natural disasters, natural history museums, nigel marven, orion's belt, pajamas, parsley, paul krugman, peregrin took, philadelphia, pillows, pine trees, pink floyd, pirates, plaid, playing pretend, plesiosaurs, pockets, polar bears, poppy seeds, popsicles, prehistoric marine predators, radishes, rainbows, remy lebeau, richard wolffe, rob corddry, rocking chairs, rollercoasters, rolling my eyes, sailor moon, sand castles, scary movies, scotland, sea green walls, seconds from disaster, sharks, shiny things, skee ball, sledding, sleeping, slinkies, slippers, smiley faces, smirking, sneakers, snow, snowglobes, socks, solitaire, spooky moments, spyro, stephen king, strawberries, stucco, sugar, swimming, swings, the beach, the daily show, the dark, the discovery channel, the moon, the ocean, the old x-men cartoon, the sopranos, the zoloft rock, thunderstorms, tolkien, towels, twig bugs, universal studios, urban legends, velociraptors, volcanoes, vonnegut, voting for liberals, water, whipped cream, you